By: Jon Stinson
Bangor- Caring for an aging relative can be one of the hardest times in someone’s life, and can bring even the most tight-knit families to dramatic disputes. Facing the daunting task of caring for an elder is hard on everyone in many ways, from the financial implications, time management, and even more challenging the physical and or medical demands of failing health. In resolving these woes many families can struggle to find a balance between caring for their loved one and managing their own lives. In many ways caring for an elder can feel like a second job, without the financial reward.
Financially, caring for an elder can be draining. Living on a fixed income while facing failing health doesn’t leave much choice when paying for medical bills, in most cases relatives need to step in. Whether it’s simply assisted living or medical bills the industry that has arisen around aging is giant. These financial drains share the stage with the ever-growing industry of scamming the elderly. Recently a motion has been making its way through Congress to address the phone scam industry that often targets the elderly.
When it comes to caring for an aging relative, families often have to make the choice of maintaining the elder’s home life by sacrificing one’s personal life, or by directly financially supporting them in an assisted living center. This choice comes with the added personal difficulties of relationship degradation and change, going from child to caretaker can be a difficult adjustment. Recently the patriarch of the Smith family has faced ailing health, straining the dynamic of the extended family. His daughter, Cheryl Smith, has witnessed this family strain recently.
“In many ways managing Dad’s care has brought the family together, we’ve communicated more and really get more involved in each other’s lives. As a side effect though, things have become a little more dramatic.” Said Smith.
Time management can complicate matters more. Whether you’re trying to schedule people to care for them, or even to just keep a lonely elder company, maintaining a family schedule can be tough.
“Even though we have a rather large extended family, managing everyone’s schedule has been tough. Some of the family feels that others aren’t pulling their weight.” Said Smith.
All of these stresses are compounded by the degree of disability that the aging person is at. In the case of the Smith family, the father is mostly independent with a few issues of stability issues exacerbated by vertigo. These issues have mostly caused increased anxiety and a fear of being alone. Unfortunately, many elders aren’t as connected as more modern generations, and with family often busy in their own lives it isn’t hard to feel left behind.
While caring for an aging relative can be difficult and stressful, often increasing disputes between family members, it’s important to keep in mind who it’s really about. No matter the stress involved one must keep in mind the reason for it all, allowing aging loved ones to live happily and healthy in their final years.
